1 00:00:01,580 --> 00:00:02,590 [door opening] 2 00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:24,610 God, you're beautiful. 3 00:00:24,610 --> 00:00:26,110 (lowell) Thank you. 4 00:00:29,850 --> 00:00:31,850 Oh, hi, lowell. 5 00:00:31,850 --> 00:00:35,020 I was just talking To the plane. 6 00:00:35,020 --> 00:00:36,520 Uh-huh. 7 00:00:37,890 --> 00:00:40,890 See, pilots feel sort of Special about their planes. 8 00:00:42,390 --> 00:00:43,390 [chuckles] 9 00:00:43,890 --> 00:00:44,890 Incredible. 10 00:00:44,890 --> 00:00:46,400 [airplane whirring] 11 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:48,130 I know it sounds crazy, 12 00:00:48,630 --> 00:00:51,630 But if you put your hands Like so, 13 00:00:51,630 --> 00:00:55,400 You can almost feel her Pushing ever so slightly Upward. 14 00:00:55,410 --> 00:00:57,940 Like she's straining To get in the air. 15 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:00,740 Can't say I blame her. 16 00:01:00,740 --> 00:01:03,750 When you're up there And you're looking down, 17 00:01:03,750 --> 00:01:06,280 Everything sorta Makes sense. 18 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:09,650 Well, not in An intellectual way, But kinda spiritually. 19 00:01:10,990 --> 00:01:12,990 It never fails. 20 00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:14,990 Every time I fly, 21 00:01:14,990 --> 00:01:17,290 I come back A little surer there's a god. 22 00:01:18,530 --> 00:01:21,030 I go down to the dump And shoot rats. 23 00:01:24,900 --> 00:01:26,640 Then you do understand. 24 00:01:32,140 --> 00:01:34,140 [seagulls cawing] 25 00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:40,940 Announcing the arrival Of sandpiper air flight 26, 26 00:02:40,940 --> 00:02:42,950 Nonstop service From boston 27 00:02:42,950 --> 00:02:46,480 To our lovely island Of nantucket. 28 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:48,990 Uh, for those of you Going out to greet Arriving passengers, 29 00:02:49,490 --> 00:02:50,490 We've learned, 30 00:02:50,490 --> 00:02:52,990 Due to one particularly Nasty incident, 31 00:02:53,490 --> 00:02:56,990 That it's best to wait For the propellers to come To a complete stop. 32 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:01,200 Thanks for flying Sandpiper air. 33 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:02,700 Hi, fay. Hi, joe. 34 00:03:02,700 --> 00:03:04,700 How much time do I have Till the next flight? 35 00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:07,100 Well, it's your airline, joe. You can leave anytime. 36 00:03:07,100 --> 00:03:09,110 Uh, but the schedule Says 7 minutes. 37 00:03:09,110 --> 00:03:13,610 You've got 6 passengers And a crate of lobsters that Have to be delivered alive. 38 00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,610 The lobsters, Not the people. 39 00:03:15,610 --> 00:03:18,850 Although I'm sure The people would Appreciate it, too. 40 00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:20,850 Well, yeah, I haven't Lost one yet. Load them up. 41 00:03:20,850 --> 00:03:23,390 I'm gonna grab A quick bite. 42 00:03:23,390 --> 00:03:24,390 (roy) Hey, hackett. 43 00:03:24,390 --> 00:03:25,890 What, roy? 44 00:03:25,890 --> 00:03:28,720 They delivered this To my airline by mistake. Oh, thanks. 45 00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:31,660 It's from some lawyers. What did you do wrong? 46 00:03:31,660 --> 00:03:34,160 I didn't do Anything wrong. The hell you didn't! 47 00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:36,170 You parked so close To my el camino last night 48 00:03:36,170 --> 00:03:39,700 I had to crawl in On the passenger side. 49 00:03:39,700 --> 00:03:42,710 That gear shift And I had a moment I'll never forget. 50 00:03:43,710 --> 00:03:45,710 Hey, roy, When did you get this? 51 00:03:45,710 --> 00:03:47,210 I don't know, It was last week some time. 52 00:03:47,210 --> 00:03:50,380 Look, unlike you, hackett, I'm running a big operation Here. 53 00:03:50,380 --> 00:03:52,880 Check the tarmac, buddy. I've got 6 planes, You got one. 54 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:54,350 I don't have time To play post office. 55 00:03:54,350 --> 00:03:56,590 Damn it, roy, This could be important. 56 00:03:56,590 --> 00:03:58,090 [laughing] Right, hackett, right. 57 00:03:58,590 --> 00:04:00,090 The day you get An important piece of mail, 58 00:04:00,090 --> 00:04:02,430 I'll kiss your behind In the town square At high noon. 59 00:04:02,430 --> 00:04:04,630 Given up on those Dial-a-dates, roy? 60 00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:10,100 Hi, helen, I'd like a b.L.T. 61 00:04:10,100 --> 00:04:11,600 4 slices of bacon, Extra crisp. 62 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:13,300 Whole wheat, lightly toasted. 63 00:04:13,300 --> 00:04:17,040 Mustard on top, Mayonnaise on the bottom And 2 pickles on the side. 64 00:04:19,980 --> 00:04:21,540 How did you know I was gonna order that? 65 00:04:21,540 --> 00:04:23,810 It's tuesday. You always order that On tuesday. 66 00:04:23,810 --> 00:04:26,320 For your information, Today happens to be... 67 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:28,250 Well, this looks good. 68 00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:33,020 Whoa. (helen) What you got? 69 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:34,520 It's a letter from the lawyer 70 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:36,030 Who handled things When my dad died. 71 00:04:36,030 --> 00:04:38,090 He was instructed To send this package to me 72 00:04:38,090 --> 00:04:39,600 When the estate Was finally settled. 73 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:40,600 Well, open it. 74 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:42,100 Well, there's a catch. 75 00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:45,640 This letter says, I'm only supposed To open it with my brother. 76 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:48,070 Well, that's that. What? 77 00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:49,940 Well, I know You're not going to call him. 78 00:04:49,940 --> 00:04:51,870 You haven't talked To your brother for 6 years. 79 00:04:51,870 --> 00:04:53,880 That is a long time To hold a grudge. 80 00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:54,880 Well, not for you, 81 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:55,880 But maybe For the average person. 82 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:57,880 I do not hold a grudge. 83 00:04:58,380 --> 00:05:00,880 You've always Said that about me. Ever since we were kids. 84 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:03,490 And quite frankly, I've always resented it. 85 00:05:03,490 --> 00:05:06,490 [phone ringing] 86 00:05:06,490 --> 00:05:08,660 I think it's about time That you got over the fact 87 00:05:08,660 --> 00:05:12,160 That carol the pig dumped you And married your brother. 88 00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:16,030 Carol is not a pig. And I am over it. 89 00:05:16,030 --> 00:05:18,200 I didn't know You had a brother, joe. 90 00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:19,540 Well, he's not So much a brother 91 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,040 As he is a piece of popcorn Stuck between my teeth 92 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:23,570 For the last 28 years. 93 00:05:23,570 --> 00:05:24,570 We're not very close. 94 00:05:24,570 --> 00:05:25,940 I went my way And brian went his. 95 00:05:26,310 --> 00:05:26,810 With a pig. 96 00:05:27,310 --> 00:05:28,310 Stop saying that. 97 00:05:28,310 --> 00:05:30,310 I will If you call him. No way. 98 00:05:30,810 --> 00:05:32,820 All right, how old was I When I moved out here From texas? 99 00:05:32,820 --> 00:05:34,750 I don't know. What, 10. Why? 100 00:05:34,750 --> 00:05:36,250 Ok. I think we've been Friends long enough 101 00:05:36,250 --> 00:05:38,250 That I can say to you Just between the two of us, 102 00:05:38,250 --> 00:05:40,420 Call your brother, butthead. 103 00:05:44,930 --> 00:05:46,430 All right. All right, I'll call him. 104 00:05:46,900 --> 00:05:48,770 Good. (fay) Good for you, joe. 105 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:51,270 It's not important whether Your brother married a pig 106 00:05:51,270 --> 00:05:52,770 Or didn't marry a pig. 107 00:05:52,770 --> 00:05:54,270 She is not a pig. 108 00:05:54,770 --> 00:05:58,270 What's important is that You should honor Your father's last words. 109 00:05:58,270 --> 00:06:00,580 Well, actually, I'm not Honoring his last words. 110 00:06:00,580 --> 00:06:02,080 I'm honoring His last wishes. 111 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:03,580 His last words were, 112 00:06:03,580 --> 00:06:05,250 "Sit on my lap, eydie." 113 00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:08,520 He thought I was eydie gorme. 114 00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:15,060 I don't know. 115 00:06:15,060 --> 00:06:16,060 I gave it a shot 116 00:06:16,560 --> 00:06:18,060 And I'm here To tell you something. 117 00:06:18,060 --> 00:06:21,560 Deborah norville doesn't have The humanity jane pauley had. 118 00:06:22,970 --> 00:06:24,970 She's gone, roy. She's gone. 119 00:06:24,970 --> 00:06:26,470 We go through this Every day. 120 00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:29,470 Jane had 13 good years. But now, she's gone. 121 00:06:29,470 --> 00:06:30,840 Now, get over it. 122 00:06:32,170 --> 00:06:33,680 I know that up here. 123 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:36,680 Doggone it. But how do you fill The void in here? 124 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:40,080 How about a jelly doughnut? Jane who? 125 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:40,980 Oh. 126 00:06:42,350 --> 00:06:43,850 Excuse me, excuse me. 127 00:06:43,850 --> 00:06:45,860 Hi, I'm looking for the owner Of aeromass airlines. 128 00:06:45,860 --> 00:06:47,560 I've got to shake his hand. 129 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:49,530 Oh, that'd be me. 130 00:06:52,530 --> 00:06:53,530 Roy biggins. Hi. 131 00:06:53,530 --> 00:06:55,400 And you are, uh... Uh, call me brian. 132 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:56,900 Brian, right. I just came off One of your flights 133 00:06:56,900 --> 00:06:59,070 And sir, You are a genius. I am? 134 00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:01,240 Oh, you betcha. I mean, I've heard of some 135 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:02,610 Creative cost-cutting Measures before, 136 00:07:03,110 --> 00:07:05,980 But getting rid Of the life jackets, It's inspired. 137 00:07:05,980 --> 00:07:08,480 Sure, tell them They're under the seats But nobody ever checks. 138 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:10,350 So why have 'em? They are too Under the seats. 139 00:07:10,350 --> 00:07:11,550 Oh, sure they are. Sure they are. 140 00:07:12,050 --> 00:07:13,550 Oh, and getting a pilot Fresh out of flight school 141 00:07:13,550 --> 00:07:15,720 Must have saved you Some serious coin, huh? 142 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:17,220 Nice kid, too. 143 00:07:17,220 --> 00:07:20,720 Had a couple of drinks With him before the flight. 144 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:22,230 It's too bad about that Eye operation though. 145 00:07:22,220 --> 00:07:25,730 But like he said, How often do you have To look left anyway? 146 00:07:25,730 --> 00:07:27,430 Folks, folks, That's not true. 147 00:07:27,430 --> 00:07:29,830 I see you've managed To slip in unnoticed. 148 00:07:31,170 --> 00:07:33,170 Joey! 149 00:07:33,170 --> 00:07:34,670 Do you know this guy? 150 00:07:34,670 --> 00:07:37,170 I'm afraid so. He's my brother. 151 00:07:37,170 --> 00:07:38,570 Roy biggins, Brian hackett. 152 00:07:38,570 --> 00:07:41,440 Pleasure. Hey, sansabelt slacks. 153 00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:42,450 Boy, you miss one issue Of g.Q. 154 00:07:42,950 --> 00:07:45,380 And the fashion world Just passes you by. 155 00:07:47,380 --> 00:07:48,890 Keep this guy away From me. 156 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:50,390 Folks, folks... 157 00:07:54,090 --> 00:07:56,230 Oh, been too long, joe. 158 00:07:56,230 --> 00:07:57,230 Yeah. Yeah. 159 00:07:57,730 --> 00:07:59,100 So, how you been? 160 00:07:59,430 --> 00:08:00,260 Fine, brian. And you? 161 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:02,070 "Fine, brian. And you? Fine, brian. And you?" 162 00:08:02,060 --> 00:08:03,570 Please, joe. Too much warmth. 163 00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:05,770 You're embarrassing me. 164 00:08:05,770 --> 00:08:08,040 Uh, this place never changes. 165 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:10,070 You, uh, You look a little tired. 166 00:08:10,070 --> 00:08:11,070 Oh, no, I'm fine. 167 00:08:11,070 --> 00:08:12,340 Hey, I know you, joe. 168 00:08:12,340 --> 00:08:14,840 You're the best pilot around But you're doing too much. 169 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:16,850 You're running the office, You're flying the planes. 170 00:08:16,850 --> 00:08:19,880 You keep this pace up, You're gonna end up Like howard hughes. 171 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:21,380 Locked in a hotel room, 172 00:08:21,380 --> 00:08:24,390 Sitting on kleenex, Sucking apple sauce Through a straw. 173 00:08:24,890 --> 00:08:26,390 Ain't that somethin'? 174 00:08:26,390 --> 00:08:28,890 All that money And his hobbies Are the same as mine. 175 00:08:31,990 --> 00:08:33,500 Really? 176 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,600 He also used to collect Toenail clippings 177 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:38,940 And keep them In a mason jar. 178 00:08:38,930 --> 00:08:40,440 This is uncanny. 179 00:08:43,570 --> 00:08:45,570 Who's that? That's lowell mather. 180 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:48,080 He's sort of a Jack-of-all-trades Around here. 181 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:49,580 His family has Lived on the island For 5 generations. 182 00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:52,080 Ah! Probably in the same room. 183 00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:54,680 Well, shall we get down To business and find out What pop left us? 184 00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:56,020 (helen) Hey, brian! 185 00:08:58,390 --> 00:09:01,160 Helen? Helen chapel? 186 00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:04,530 Oh, my god! You look fantastic. 187 00:09:04,530 --> 00:09:06,400 You've lost A lot of weight. Oh, I have not. 188 00:09:06,700 --> 00:09:09,200 Maybe a pound or 2 or 60. 189 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:10,930 Hey. 190 00:09:10,930 --> 00:09:12,870 Come on, brian. Helen's busy. 191 00:09:12,870 --> 00:09:14,240 No, it's ok. 192 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:15,900 Well, you're looking Pretty good yourself. What've you been doing? 193 00:09:15,910 --> 00:09:17,410 Uh, I'm down in The caribbean 194 00:09:17,410 --> 00:09:18,910 Flying charter For the rich and famous. 195 00:09:18,910 --> 00:09:20,410 Hmm. Business is pickin' up. 196 00:09:20,410 --> 00:09:23,310 Although the noriega Spring barbecue Looks a little iffy. 197 00:09:25,980 --> 00:09:27,480 So what are you Still doing here? 198 00:09:27,980 --> 00:09:29,690 I thought that cello of yours Was going to get you off This rock. 199 00:09:29,690 --> 00:09:33,690 One day it will. I practice all the time. I go to my auditions. 200 00:09:33,690 --> 00:09:36,390 You know, in the meantime, I'm here. Brian, now. 201 00:09:36,390 --> 00:09:37,890 [phone ringing] 202 00:09:37,890 --> 00:09:39,130 Hey, joey, uh, 203 00:09:39,630 --> 00:09:41,130 Are you and helen, Mmm, you know? 204 00:09:41,130 --> 00:09:43,070 Of course not. We're friends. 205 00:09:43,470 --> 00:09:44,970 Are you kidding me? Look at that body. 206 00:09:44,970 --> 00:09:47,670 Brian, how can you Think of her that way? She's practically family. 207 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:50,540 She's like A baby sister. Yeah, you're right. 208 00:09:50,540 --> 00:09:53,010 I think it's time I gave That little tyke a bath. 209 00:09:54,910 --> 00:09:57,410 Oh, same old joe, Neat as a pin. 210 00:09:57,410 --> 00:09:59,920 Everything at right angles. 211 00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:01,420 It's called having Your life in order. 212 00:10:01,420 --> 00:10:03,250 You ought To try it sometime. 213 00:10:05,550 --> 00:10:08,560 So, how's carol? 214 00:10:09,020 --> 00:10:12,030 Fine, fine. Sends her love. 215 00:10:14,630 --> 00:10:17,130 Uh, about carol, Are we ok here? 216 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,400 Well, Now that you mention it, 217 00:10:23,610 --> 00:10:25,240 Yeah, we're ok. 218 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:26,640 Aren't we ok? I'm ok. 219 00:10:27,010 --> 00:10:28,410 Well, I'm ok. Ok. 220 00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:29,910 That was fun. 221 00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:35,250 Here. It's our legacy from pop. 222 00:10:35,750 --> 00:10:38,190 I guess one of his Get-rich-quick schemes Finally paid off, huh? 223 00:10:38,190 --> 00:10:39,690 You're not serious? 224 00:10:39,690 --> 00:10:42,990 I'm very serious, joe. Apparently, pop was loaded. 225 00:10:42,990 --> 00:10:44,490 What makes you think that? 226 00:10:44,490 --> 00:10:46,660 The, uh, the phone call. 227 00:10:46,660 --> 00:10:47,800 What phone call? 228 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:50,300 Oh, dear. 229 00:10:50,300 --> 00:10:52,800 You have a little sign On this drawer that says "Empty." 230 00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:55,600 Like, you can't pull it open And see that? 231 00:10:57,340 --> 00:10:58,670 What phone call? 232 00:10:58,670 --> 00:11:02,180 I mean, you actually Took the time to label it? 233 00:11:02,180 --> 00:11:06,380 This is heavy. Does--does the word "Anal" Mean anything to you? 234 00:11:06,380 --> 00:11:09,320 At this moment It has a very special meaning. 235 00:11:11,290 --> 00:11:13,290 This hurts me, joe. 236 00:11:13,290 --> 00:11:15,290 This really hurts me. 237 00:11:15,290 --> 00:11:16,960 Think it'll leave a mark? 238 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:20,360 What phone call? 239 00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:21,860 He called me a couple Of months before he died 240 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:23,370 And he rambled on About this and that. 241 00:11:23,370 --> 00:11:25,030 I didn't pay Much attention to him. 242 00:11:25,530 --> 00:11:28,670 But I remember him Saying very distinctly At one point, "You're rich." 243 00:11:28,670 --> 00:11:29,670 He said "You're rich," joe. 244 00:11:29,670 --> 00:11:31,670 I didn't think Much of it until now. 245 00:11:31,670 --> 00:11:32,680 I wouldn't Get your hopes up. 246 00:11:33,180 --> 00:11:35,180 Not that you were around, But dad was getting 247 00:11:35,180 --> 00:11:36,950 Pretty strange The last couple of years. 248 00:11:36,950 --> 00:11:37,780 Why? What do you mean? 249 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:39,780 He used to put on an apron, Go to the market 250 00:11:39,780 --> 00:11:41,720 And demonstrate Cheese spread. 251 00:11:42,620 --> 00:11:43,920 A lot of people do that. 252 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:46,420 Sure, but usually The market hires them. 253 00:11:46,420 --> 00:11:47,420 [exclaiming] 254 00:11:48,060 --> 00:11:49,560 No, joey, this is it. 255 00:11:49,560 --> 00:11:51,390 Payday. Here we go. 256 00:11:51,390 --> 00:11:53,660 You're setting yourself up For a big disappointment. 257 00:11:53,660 --> 00:11:55,160 "O ye, of little faith." 258 00:11:59,670 --> 00:12:01,940 It's a key I told you Not to get your hopes up. 259 00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:06,440 To a safe-deposit box In the first national bank Of nantucket. 260 00:12:07,440 --> 00:12:09,080 We're rich! 261 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:10,580 We're rich! 262 00:12:10,580 --> 00:12:12,080 (both) We're rich! 263 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:17,620 Go warm up the car. I've got to make A quick phone call. 264 00:12:17,620 --> 00:12:18,620 We're rich! 265 00:12:20,260 --> 00:12:23,260 Be there, be there, be there. Please. Please, please. 266 00:12:23,260 --> 00:12:24,260 Oh, damn! 267 00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:27,960 "Wait for the beep." Hi, carol, it's me. 268 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,970 Uh, look, I know the judge told me Not to bother you anymore. 269 00:12:30,970 --> 00:12:33,970 Actually he told me Not to bother him Anymore, too. 270 00:12:33,970 --> 00:12:37,970 But I just want you to know That it looks like I'm about To come into a few bucks 271 00:12:37,970 --> 00:12:41,240 And when you're ready To come back, the door's open. 272 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:43,780 I miss you, carol, 273 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:46,280 And, uh, I really want you To know that-- 274 00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:47,250 [dial tone droning] 275 00:12:47,250 --> 00:12:49,850 Great. Now her machine's Hanging up on me. 276 00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:57,360 This'll kill him. 277 00:13:04,100 --> 00:13:05,600 Stand back, clear the deck. 278 00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:07,870 Rich guys coming through. 279 00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:09,370 (helen) What did you get? 280 00:13:09,370 --> 00:13:10,370 Well, this was In the safe-deposit box 281 00:13:10,370 --> 00:13:12,370 But there was no way To get inside it. 282 00:13:12,370 --> 00:13:13,880 Hey, lowell, Give me a screwdriver. 283 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:15,850 Well, ok, but be careful. 284 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:18,810 Now, you're not on any kind Of antihistamines, are you? 285 00:13:23,650 --> 00:13:25,650 It's another key. 286 00:13:25,650 --> 00:13:27,160 I hope you don't Mind me saying this. 287 00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:29,960 And--and I mean it In the nicest possible way. 288 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:32,460 But your father Was really jerking You around. 289 00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:36,470 This one's to a post office Box in boston. 290 00:13:36,470 --> 00:13:38,170 Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go. 291 00:13:38,170 --> 00:13:40,470 Brian, this is starting To seem like a waste of time. 292 00:13:40,470 --> 00:13:41,700 Don't throw the towel in now. 293 00:13:41,700 --> 00:13:43,810 You remember, Dad said, "You're rich." 294 00:13:43,810 --> 00:13:46,310 Well, I do have a flight Leaving for boston in A few minutes. 295 00:13:46,310 --> 00:13:47,240 That's the spirit. 296 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:49,240 Can't get Sidetracked now again. 297 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:50,250 We've got to keep our eyes On the prize. 298 00:13:50,250 --> 00:13:52,080 Oh, major hooters. We can't let those... 299 00:13:52,580 --> 00:13:54,050 What did you say? 300 00:13:54,050 --> 00:13:55,050 Major hooters. 301 00:13:55,550 --> 00:13:58,050 Major bob hooters, U.S. Air force, At your service. 302 00:13:58,050 --> 00:14:00,220 Uh-oh, scramble. Red alert. 303 00:14:00,220 --> 00:14:01,720 Rest easy tonight, Little lady. 304 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:04,190 Our boys are in the air And so are yours. 305 00:14:11,270 --> 00:14:12,270 I hate to say I told you so. 306 00:14:12,270 --> 00:14:14,270 Oh, don't start. Don't start. 307 00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:17,270 I just spent 5 hours Traipsing all over boston On some wild goose chase 308 00:14:17,270 --> 00:14:19,270 And what do we end up with? 309 00:14:19,270 --> 00:14:22,280 Excuse me, Is--is there a problem? Everything's fine. 310 00:14:23,780 --> 00:14:25,780 Just sit back And enjoy the flight. 311 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:30,420 Nantucket tower, This is sandpiper 28. 312 00:14:30,420 --> 00:14:32,420 Final approach, fix incoming. 313 00:14:32,420 --> 00:14:34,920 (man) Sandpiper 28, nantucket. You're clear to land. 314 00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:36,930 Sandpiper 28, roger. 315 00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:39,960 Look, there's no reason To get upset. 316 00:14:40,460 --> 00:14:41,460 I want to get upset. 317 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:42,970 I like to get upset! 318 00:14:42,970 --> 00:14:44,970 Getting upset Makes me happy! 319 00:14:45,470 --> 00:14:46,970 You ought to try it Sometime. 320 00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:49,470 You sure Everything's ok? Of course. 321 00:14:49,470 --> 00:14:51,170 Look, it's not like We lost anything. 322 00:14:51,170 --> 00:14:53,180 We have a lot to be Thankful for. 323 00:14:53,180 --> 00:14:54,180 After all, we've got-- 324 00:14:54,180 --> 00:14:55,640 Joe, if you're gonna say We've got our health, 325 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:57,580 I'm gonna have to hurt you. 326 00:14:57,580 --> 00:14:59,080 I wasn't Going to say that. 327 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:03,590 Although we do. 328 00:15:03,590 --> 00:15:07,090 I was going to say We've got our jobs. I've still got the airline 329 00:15:07,090 --> 00:15:10,090 And you're still Flying charter. 330 00:15:10,090 --> 00:15:13,600 You do still fly for That charter company? 331 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:15,600 You don't, do you? You got canned. 332 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:18,030 Eh, it was a crummy job Anyway. 333 00:15:18,030 --> 00:15:19,540 Actually, I was kind of hoping 334 00:15:19,540 --> 00:15:20,900 You might need An extra pilot. 335 00:15:20,900 --> 00:15:23,240 Are you kidding? Hire you? 336 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:25,240 I'd rather crash This plane. 337 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:27,240 You need a job? I'll hire you. 338 00:15:33,750 --> 00:15:35,250 How do you do it, brian? 339 00:15:35,250 --> 00:15:37,990 How do you manage to blow Every single opportunity You've ever had? 340 00:15:37,990 --> 00:15:39,390 It's a gift. 341 00:15:39,390 --> 00:15:40,860 You know, you're smart. 342 00:15:40,860 --> 00:15:42,260 You get A free ride to princeton And what do you do? You quit. 343 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:45,230 And what about nasa? You're one of the youngest People ever accepted 344 00:15:45,230 --> 00:15:48,430 To the space program And you wash out on The 2nd day of orientation. 345 00:15:48,430 --> 00:15:50,430 You could have Been an astronaut, For god's sake. 346 00:15:50,430 --> 00:15:51,930 Yeah, Like I'm supposed to know 347 00:15:51,930 --> 00:15:55,100 You couldn't bring dates Into the shuttle simulator. 348 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:58,410 God, I wish I had The advantages that you had, 349 00:15:58,410 --> 00:15:59,910 But someone had to Hold down the fort. 350 00:15:59,910 --> 00:16:01,910 Oh, no. No, you don't, joe. They've already done This movie. 351 00:16:01,910 --> 00:16:03,910 Remember the one Where poor old jimmy stewart 352 00:16:03,910 --> 00:16:04,910 Has to stay home And save the bank 353 00:16:05,410 --> 00:16:06,420 While his brother gets To go off 354 00:16:06,420 --> 00:16:07,420 And do these exciting things? 355 00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:09,080 Remember that movie, joe? Yeah. It's a wonderful life. 356 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:10,590 That's right, joe. Well, this isn't the movies 357 00:16:11,090 --> 00:16:13,090 And from where I sit, Jimmy stewart was a sap. 358 00:16:13,090 --> 00:16:14,090 (man) Sandpiper 28-- 359 00:16:14,090 --> 00:16:15,590 Oh, give us a second, Will you? 360 00:16:15,590 --> 00:16:17,090 He could have left us If he wanted to 361 00:16:17,590 --> 00:16:18,590 And so could you, But you didn't. 362 00:16:18,590 --> 00:16:20,100 You stayed home And you took care of pop. 363 00:16:20,100 --> 00:16:22,100 Good old st. Joe. Now, stop it right there, Brian. 364 00:16:22,100 --> 00:16:24,470 Excuse me. Solid citizen joe. He always Does the right thing. 365 00:16:24,470 --> 00:16:27,240 You know, I bet you don't Even tear that stupid tag Off the mattress. 366 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,140 It says, "Do not remove." 367 00:16:29,140 --> 00:16:30,140 I knew it! Excuse me. 368 00:16:30,140 --> 00:16:31,640 And you know What else I think? 369 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:34,140 I think you used pop As an excuse, 370 00:16:34,140 --> 00:16:36,380 Because you didn't Have the guts to go out And do what I did. 371 00:16:36,380 --> 00:16:37,750 What? Fall flat on your face? 372 00:16:37,750 --> 00:16:39,550 At least, I wasn't Afraid of failing. 373 00:16:40,050 --> 00:16:40,850 [laughs] Obviously not. 374 00:16:40,850 --> 00:16:42,850 Excuse me. What? For god's sake? 375 00:16:42,850 --> 00:16:44,820 Weren't we supposed To land back there? 376 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:46,720 Oh. 377 00:16:47,220 --> 00:16:50,230 Look, I'm the pilot And I'll decide when To land this aircraft. 378 00:16:51,230 --> 00:16:52,530 Ok, now! 379 00:16:55,030 --> 00:16:57,030 [tires screeching] 380 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:04,610 Obnoxious little twerp. Tight control freak nazi. 381 00:17:04,610 --> 00:17:06,940 You've been A bone in my throat Since the day you were born. 382 00:17:06,940 --> 00:17:08,440 I should have smothered you In your baby blanket. 383 00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:10,210 Hey! What the hell's goin' on? 384 00:17:10,210 --> 00:17:11,710 I'll tell you What's goin' on. 385 00:17:11,710 --> 00:17:14,220 That key opened up A safe-deposit box 386 00:17:14,220 --> 00:17:15,720 Which had a key For another bank 387 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:17,720 Which led to another key To another bank 388 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:21,720 Which led to 2 bus stations, A post office, a train depot, And a kennel. 389 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:23,730 And you want to know What we found? 390 00:17:23,730 --> 00:17:24,730 Another key. 391 00:17:25,230 --> 00:17:26,400 And you want to know Where it goes? 392 00:17:26,900 --> 00:17:29,800 I'll tell you where it goes. We don't know where it goes! 393 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,400 That's where it goes! 394 00:17:33,140 --> 00:17:35,700 Come all the way back here And what do I end up with? 395 00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:37,210 Nada, zippo, zero, zilch. 396 00:17:37,210 --> 00:17:38,710 With nothing! 397 00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:42,640 You've got carol. 398 00:17:45,380 --> 00:17:47,020 Oh, so now we get to it, Huh? 399 00:17:50,020 --> 00:17:52,620 I thought you said You were over that. 400 00:17:52,620 --> 00:17:54,460 Over you stealing The love of my life from me? 401 00:17:54,460 --> 00:17:56,930 I didn't steal her. She came after me. 402 00:17:56,930 --> 00:17:57,930 Oh, come off it. 403 00:17:58,430 --> 00:18:01,030 Carol doesn't have A deceptive bone In her body. 404 00:18:01,030 --> 00:18:05,000 She's kind and good And honest. 405 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,000 And you stole her from me, And it hurts. 406 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,000 It hurts bad. 407 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,410 I don't think you Could ever know how much. 408 00:18:14,280 --> 00:18:16,280 She left me For another guy. 409 00:18:17,650 --> 00:18:19,380 She left you, too? Yeah. 410 00:18:20,650 --> 00:18:21,650 That pig. 411 00:18:25,890 --> 00:18:27,890 Ok, I'll give you that. 412 00:18:27,890 --> 00:18:29,390 But she was my pig. 413 00:18:31,130 --> 00:18:33,230 Well, at least the other guy Wasn't your brother. 414 00:18:33,230 --> 00:18:34,230 Yeah, yeah. 415 00:18:34,730 --> 00:18:37,200 My brother would never Have done that to me. 416 00:18:39,570 --> 00:18:41,070 I kind of thought If pop left us some money, 417 00:18:41,070 --> 00:18:43,070 She might want To come back. 418 00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:47,640 Hey, listen, joe. 419 00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:50,150 No matter Whose fault it was, 420 00:18:50,650 --> 00:18:53,650 If losing carol Made you feel the way I've felt since she's left, 421 00:18:53,650 --> 00:18:56,650 Then I'm--I'm really, Really sorry. 422 00:18:57,490 --> 00:18:59,220 [airplane whirring] 423 00:19:03,730 --> 00:19:06,730 Well, places to go, People to see. 424 00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:08,230 Bye. 425 00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:11,030 [clears throat] Get me on the next flight To morocco. 426 00:19:11,030 --> 00:19:12,430 We've got one going To hartford right now. 427 00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:14,700 Close enough. 428 00:19:14,700 --> 00:19:16,210 Offering that man A job with my airline 429 00:19:16,710 --> 00:19:18,610 Would be the stupidest thing I could do. 430 00:19:18,610 --> 00:19:21,110 He's totally unreliable. He'd never be on time. 431 00:19:21,110 --> 00:19:22,610 He'd do nothing But try my patience. 432 00:19:22,610 --> 00:19:24,310 Uh-huh. So, why are you Going to do it? 433 00:19:24,310 --> 00:19:26,310 I haven't The slightest idea. 434 00:19:27,850 --> 00:19:29,850 Uh, brian? 435 00:19:32,850 --> 00:19:34,860 If you're still interested In working with me, 436 00:19:34,860 --> 00:19:36,360 I could always use A good pilot. 437 00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:38,360 Hey, uh, thanks, joe, I appreciate it. 438 00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:40,360 But I don't take Jobs out of pity. 439 00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:41,360 Take it easy. 440 00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:43,270 Oh, and do yourself A favor. 441 00:19:43,270 --> 00:19:45,130 Lighten up a little. 442 00:19:45,430 --> 00:19:47,440 I'll try to. 443 00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:50,770 I don't want To end up sitting on Howard hughes' kleenex. 444 00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:56,080 Joe hackett, One of the world's True funny men. 445 00:19:57,080 --> 00:20:00,220 See you around, baggy pants. 446 00:20:00,220 --> 00:20:03,620 Say, I recognize this key. It opens one of our lockers. 447 00:20:03,620 --> 00:20:05,620 Oh, I don't believe it. 448 00:20:05,620 --> 00:20:09,090 Hey, lowell, See if this fits number 5. 449 00:20:09,090 --> 00:20:11,090 [clearing throat] Hang on, mom. 450 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,670 There's a suitcase in here. You want it? 451 00:20:18,670 --> 00:20:19,640 Yes. 452 00:20:19,630 --> 00:20:21,140 Ok. 453 00:20:24,110 --> 00:20:27,680 I'd like it duly noted That this scratch was On the suitcase. 454 00:20:29,180 --> 00:20:30,750 (both) Lowell! 455 00:20:33,150 --> 00:20:34,650 Ok. 456 00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:35,650 Now, remember, brian, 457 00:20:36,150 --> 00:20:39,090 Whatever's in this suitcase, We split in 2. 458 00:20:39,090 --> 00:20:40,590 What if it's a puppy? 459 00:20:43,090 --> 00:20:46,090 Brian, It's been a long day. 460 00:20:46,730 --> 00:20:48,230 Oh, open it already. 461 00:20:48,230 --> 00:20:49,730 Ok, you ready? Ready. 462 00:20:49,730 --> 00:20:51,230 Here we go. 463 00:20:51,230 --> 00:20:53,240 [women screaming] 464 00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:00,440 What does this mean? 465 00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:03,950 Well, for one thing It means pop's funnier Dead than you are alive. 466 00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:08,550 Wait a minute, there's Something else in here. 467 00:21:09,050 --> 00:21:10,050 [exclaiming] 468 00:21:10,050 --> 00:21:12,050 It's a picture of you and me When we were kids. 469 00:21:12,050 --> 00:21:13,560 Swimming at gibbs' pond. 470 00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:15,560 Look, we're together And we're both smiling. 471 00:21:15,560 --> 00:21:18,060 I think it's the last time That happened. 472 00:21:18,060 --> 00:21:20,560 Hey, uh, dad wrote Something on the back. 473 00:21:23,570 --> 00:21:25,070 "You're rich." 474 00:21:25,070 --> 00:21:27,570 So, this whole Wild goose chase... 475 00:21:28,070 --> 00:21:30,770 I guess, Maybe dad just wanted us To spend some time together. 476 00:21:31,270 --> 00:21:34,280 Yeah, I guess maybe dad wasn't As crazy as we thought, huh? 477 00:21:38,750 --> 00:21:40,750 (roy) Announcing final boarding 478 00:21:40,750 --> 00:21:44,490 For aeromass Flight 17 to hartford. 479 00:21:44,490 --> 00:21:46,320 That means you, hackett. 480 00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:50,130 Give me a minute. 481 00:21:50,130 --> 00:21:54,130 Hey, uh, Do you mind if I keep this? It's a great picture of me. 482 00:21:54,130 --> 00:21:55,630 What's wrong with me? 483 00:21:55,630 --> 00:21:58,630 What? Besides those swimming trunks Up around your armpits? 484 00:21:58,630 --> 00:22:00,140 Is that job offer Still good? 485 00:22:00,140 --> 00:22:03,240 My swimming trunks? What about That doofus haircut? 486 00:22:03,240 --> 00:22:04,740 You can start tomorrow. Yeah, great. 487 00:22:04,740 --> 00:22:07,480 [glasses clinking] And look at those ears. They look like hubcaps. 488 00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:10,040 [glasses clinking] What is that big round thing In the water? 489 00:22:10,050 --> 00:22:12,050 How did a whale Get in gibbs' pond? 490 00:22:12,050 --> 00:22:13,050 A whale? 491 00:22:15,050 --> 00:22:16,550 Good lord, that's me! 492 00:22:17,550 --> 00:22:18,790 Give me that.